If you don’t ask (you don’t get)

If you don’t ask, you don’t get. That’s been my ultimate life motto for as long as I can remember. It’s simple, really. Just seven little words. But they’ve shaped my entire career, opened doors I never thought possible, and taken me to places I wouldn’t have dared dream of if I’d let fear be in charge.

Whenever I’ve told people this motto, they usually laugh or raise an eyebrow, but then they stop and think. Because deep down, they know it’s true. The world doesn’t hand you dreams on a silver platter. Sometimes, you have to get bold. Be cheeky. Be brave. You have to ask.

One of my favourite stories about this is the time I met Tim Burton. Yes, that Tim Burton. The visionary behind Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Beetlejuice. All of it. When I saw that an exhibition of his was coming to town, I wanted in. I wasn’t a celebrity. I wasn’t working in film. I was an interior designer at the time. But I was also already on the press email list for the gallery. Why? Because I’d asked to be. Just sent a little email one day, requesting to be added, not expecting much. And they said yes.

A few weeks later, that one small yes led to something extraordinary. I received an invitation to a press preview for the exhibition. As I read through the invite, my eyes landed on a line about a very special audience with Tim himself. No details, just a casual mention. I didn’t hesitate. I replied and simply asked if I could attend that too. And again, they said yes.

What happened next is still one of those memories that gives me goosebumps. I walked into the auditorium and was guided to a seat in the front row just two metres away from Tim Burton himself. I sat there, eyes wide, heart full, completely immersed as he spoke about his entire career to date. The stories, the imagination, the quirks, the truth behind the art. I soaked it all in like a sponge. No VIP pass. No name-drop. Just me, my courage, and an email that led me to the front row of a dream.

That’s what this motto does. It chips away at fear. It quiets the voice that says, “Who do you think you are?” and replaces it with, “Why not you?”

I’ve used this same approach throughout my career. Back when I was running my interior design studio, I reached out to someone I admired (let’s just say it’s someone very well known and very Royal) and we ended up sitting at opposite sides of the breakfast table. All because I sent a message. No big pitch. Just honesty and heart.

That kind of boldness is what helped get me named as one of the 50 most inspirational women in business. It’s what got my work featured in beautiful magazines. It’s what kept the fire burning when I started over again.

Because here’s the truth: I’ve walked away from all of that now. The awards, the titles, the safety of a successful business. I left it behind to chase something that had been calling me for years, radio. Using my voice. Following that wide-eyed childhood dream that never truly left.

And let me tell you, I’m now in a completely different industry. No fancy title. No fast-track. Just me, starting again with a blank page and a lot of nerve.

But guess what? The same motto still works.

These past few months, I’ve been deep in the land of Instagram DMs, messaging anyone and everyone in the world of radio who will reply. Big names from Radio 1, Radio 2, Heart and beyond. I’ve asked questions, sought guidance, asked for coffees, sent voice notes. No shame, just pure persistence. I’ve been turning the courage dial up to full volume, because every connection matters, and every conversation is a chance to grow.

I’ve pitched myself to festivals like Latitude, asking if I can present or host interviews. I’ve even asked if I can sit down with bands like The Script and tell their story on-air. I know the odds. I know it sounds audacious. But so what? If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

That phrase has never let me down. Even when the answer is no, I’ve still won something and that something is confidence. Momentum. Self-respect. Because I showed up for myself.

I want this blog to be your gentle nudge today. If you’re sitting on a dream, or feeling stuck, or waiting for someone to notice you, consider this your sign. Ask for the thing. Apply for the job. Message that mentor. Pitch the idea. Invite yourself to the conversation. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself forward. It’s not arrogant. It’s not annoying. It’s brave. It’s bold. It’s necessary.

You are not an impostor. You are a possibility.

The magic doesn’t happen when you’re hiding. It happens when you raise your hand. When you knock on the door. When you put your name in the room, even if your voice is shaking.

Let them say no. But give them the chance to say yes.

You might just find yourself sitting in front of someone you once only dreamed of meeting. You might find your name on a list you never thought you’d belong to. You might find yourself on the radio, mic in hand, doing the thing you were born to do.

That’s what I’m doing now. And I’m not finished asking yet.